Wonderboy
by Soshika
Summary: [songfic- tenacious D's wonderboy] mario and bowser have a jam session. someone stop me.


**Note**: this was part of a 'silly songfic' contest with my friend Zarla (who you can find on FF.net by searching for authors named Zarla). I chose Wonderboy by Tenacious D...she chose some necrophilia song. I chose super mario. she chose eternal darkness. SHE WON. XD; but, this is still good for a laugh. I dunno, just the concept of bowser and mario flying around is highly amusing.  


* * *

  
_High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds,   
There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly._   
  
It had taken Bowser a long time to get up the skill to be confident with the guitar. In fact, when you have claws the size of kitchen knives and razor sharp, it's hard enough to make your bed, let alone play guitar. He'd spent a fortune on strings, ruined a few perfectly good finishes, but now he was ready. Glaring over the lip of his Koopa Clown Car, he slitted his eyes at the castle of the Mushroom Kingdom. The red roof, the stained glass window with the image of the Princess cast in it.   
  
Damn that plumber! He'd been cheated out of his love interest too many times to just take it. No, this time he was deterimined to win Princess Peach, not through violence and deciet, but through pure musical talent. And yes, he could do it. Planting one gigantic clawed foot on the lip of the car, he hefted the guitar onto his knee, slipped the strap around his arm, and began to play.   
  
_Not much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck.  
Yeah, yeah.  
Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power? _   
  
No sooner had he gotten to the bridge of his musical genius than did the castle doors open. Bowser's heart leapt in his reptilian chest. If he was warm blooded, he would have felt a sweat break out on the back of his scaley neck. Was it Peach? Was she coming in response to his glorious song? Had he finally won?   
  
_Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man?_   
  
It was impossiable to mistake those overalls. The red cap. The mostache. No, it wasn't Peach, it was Mario. That damn plumber was trying to ruin his work again? Bowser tried to control himself, keeping his music steady, doing his best not to snap the strings between his claws. The spikes on his back itched to go after that pudgy Brooklynite.   
  
But wait! What was that Mario had with him? Were Bowser's slit eyes playing a trick on him? But no, it was true, Mario had slung over his back a bass guitar which matched the crimsion colour of his cap, and was striding onto the steps of the Castle. Unslinging the bass, Mario began to play, and to Bowser's amazment, their tunes met and intermingled.   
  
Mario was playing _with_ him.   
  
With a strange light in his eyes, the plumber began to speak as he played. "Now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman, archrival and nemesis of Wonderboy, with powers comparable to Wonderboy. "   
  
For a moment, Bowser was dumbstruck. Mario took no notice, looking down only a moment before resuming singing, eyes locked with the king Koopa.   
  
"What powers you ask? I dunno, how 'bout the power of flight? That do anything for ya? That's levitation, holmes."   
  
Bowser bared his teeth, feeling a sudden surge of pride. Spitting a small fireball towards the castle roof, he barely noticed as it exploded into a shower of firework-like sparks. In his deep growling voice, the Lizard King let loose a laugh and began to follow along to Mario's speech. "How 'bout the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away..."   
  
"With mind bullets! That's telekinesis, Bowser," It was obvious Mario could not contain his excitement at this. Out of the corner of his eye, Bowser could see in the awning of the castle, safe from any danger, Mario's brother was taking up the drums with a determined professional air.   
  
Boldness swept the Koopa King. Leaning forwards in the clown car, he swooped lower, his fingers nearly shaking with egerness to continue playing. The guitar seemed alive in Bowser's claws, seemed more willing and loyel than any of his minions. Reaching close enough to the ground, Bowser took a leap from the hovercraft, hitting the ground hard enough to send up a cloud of dust that nearly concealed him. Stepping through the cloud, his music like a carpet before him, Bowser grinned a sharp toothed grin. "How 'bout the power... to move you?"   
  
Mario stood in shock a moment, a moment Bowser took into his claws and transfered to his music. For a few scant seconds, the Koopa King's solo drowned all else out, his shelled body bending backwards with the sheer joy of making music.   
  
Mario bowed his head low as the solo ended, but Bowser wasn't in the mood to compete anymore. No, this was far better than any sort of battle where he was thrown into bombs or dropped into lava. Stomping the ground with one huge claw, he forced the plumber to look back up at him. Behind them on the castle steps, Luigi had already gotten the idea. Bowser began to play again, and slowly, Mario joined in.   
  
_History of Wonderboy and Young Nastyman,   
Riggah-goo-goo, riggah-goo-goo.   
A secret to be told, a gold chest to be bold,   
And blasting forth with three-part harmony, yeow!_   
  
It was unstoppable. There had never been anything like this before in the whole of the Mushroom Kingdom. Farther into the cities and the towns, people leaned through their windows. Yes, it was power. Power like Bowser had never had before, the power of admiration and skill. Who cared about Princess Peach now? He had music. Yes! He understood now! Mario's superior bass playing had revealed it to him.   
  
_Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power? _   
  
It was music. Music which had helped him defeat Birdo, Mouser, any enemy that the King Koopa had thrown at him. He hadn't realized it until now, but music was always there. They were unstoppable- they could do anything. Perhaps even take down a giant metalic smith trying to destroy the world. There was no telling.   
  
_Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man?_   
  
_Well, Wonderboy and Young Nastyman joined forces;  
they formed a band the likes of which have never been seen,   
and they called themselves Tenacious D. That's right... _   
  
Mario threw back his head, and in the high pitched melodious voice of an Italian-Americian plumber, he sung proudly- prouder than he had sung when he had defeated Donkey Kong. Prouder than when he had fought his way through Noki Bay. "Me! And KB!   
  
King Bowser threw back his head, guitar riffs blazing, his claws burning from the friction of the strings. "That's me!"   
  
Mario leapt into the air, landing on his knees beside the koopa car, his bass backing up Bowser's guitar and Luigi's drums with an ungodly glory, a glory created from the fusion of their long rivalry. "We're now Tenacious D!"   
  
With agility hardly expected from a giant dinosaur in a shell, Bowser leapt into his hovering Koopa Car and lay off his guitar a moment, a moment long enough to motion towards the hovercraft. With a mighty roar, he invited the Mario Brothers to join him.   
  
_Come fly with me, fly!_   
  
Through the flawless blue sky, the plumbers and the Koopa King sailed, their music reaching to the stars. Far out of sight, even the stars themselves wondered at such a unity. Shining their glowing light down upon the Koopa Car, the music carried even further over the land. Shy Guys crawled from their toyboxes, Ninji stopped hopping aimlessly. All eyes were turned upwards in wonderment.   
  
_Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power?   
Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man,  
Oh! _  
  
It was like the good days, the days when they had joined together! The days when armed with metal claws and giant turtle shells, they had banded together to beat the snot out of large fluffy dogs that ate their mutual love interest. But she didn't matter now- she had never mattered!   
  
_Take my hand!   
Young Nastyman, and we'll fly!   
Bring out your broadsword.  
There's the hydra.   
Slice his throat!   
And grab his scroat._   
  
Birdo fled before them, even his transvestitsm unable to stop the unity of Bowser and the Mario Brothers. Luigi burst out into unexpected song, his brother and their greatest rival staring in awe.   
  
When the clown car finally landed back at the castle, Bowser departed with a final burning note on his guitar, leaving the brothers in peace. The jam session had filled him with an exhileration he had found himself unable to reach before. The power of music had brought peace upon the Mushroom Kingdom.   
  
_You take the high road,   
I'll take the low.   
There, the crevasse,_   
  
At least until Mario and Luigi realized that while they were jamming with the Koopa King, he'd had a horde of goombas carry the princess off to his fortress. Muahhaha...   
  
_Fill it with your mighty juice._


End file.
